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Dead Duck


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A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery.

She laid her pet on the table; the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened

to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and

said 'I'm so sorry, your duck, "Cuddles" has passed away'

The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied.

'How can you be so sure,' she protested. ‘I mean, you haven't done any testing

on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something'

The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few

minutes later with a black Labrador retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,put

his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at

the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with a


The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head

to foot.

The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, mewed softly and

strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most

definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'.

The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to

the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. '£150!’ she cried £150 just to

tell me my duck is dead!'

The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the

bill would have been £20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now


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