joke

[outkast]

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of

tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.

The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping

through photos. And they start reminiscing.

'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now.'

'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully.

'He's a martyr now though' mum confides. 'Oh, so sad dear' says the other.

And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21'

'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair when

he was born'. 'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly.

'Oh, gracious me ...' Says the other.

'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Achmed.

He would be 18, she whispers. 'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I

remember when he first started school' 'He's a martyr also,' says mum, with

tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at

the photographs and says...

'They blow up so fast, don't they?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[alan_k]

Groan, that's awful Dave

Glad you're on the mend by the way,

Cheers,

Alan

[outkast]

Groan, that's awful Dave

Glad you're on the mend by the way,

Cheers,

Alan

Thanks Alan

[alan_k]

Made me laugh

Mongolian VD

While in China, a man is rather promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in Melbourne, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it.'

The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.'

The doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.'

The man recoils in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.'

The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice.’

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines him and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongorrian VD. Vewy ware disease.'

The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My Australian doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid Australian docttah, arways want to opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate!'

‘Oh, Thank God!' the man replies

'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!'

[garyfreefly]

looks like were on a roll how about this one

Suppise sex is the best way to be woken up ............Unless your in prison !!!!

or this

A woman answers the phone one night and a pervert breathes down the line...Have you got a tight bald Twat ? The woman replies...

Yes ....he"s on the settee do you want to speak to him ?"

and

Why men shouldnt be agony aunts

Dear Jim

I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldnt start

I walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter..

They announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were deeply in love

can you help me I am desperate

Dear reader

The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines ,,if not then it may be the alternator..I hope this advice helps.....Jim